“I wish if I could say NO”
Most of us struggle to speak for ourselves as we think it might hurt the other person or fears that the other person will judge you as rude. These kinds of thoughts stop one from expressing their feelings and opinions which in turn affects the self esteem of the person. Often people who doesn’t speak up for themselves will be taken for granted and mistreated by others. Let’s explore how we can be assertive without damaging our relationship with others.
Detach the person from the problem
When you express your disagreement make sure that you are not disagreeing with the person but only with his ideas. Also try to give more options to solve the issue rather being stubborn with your personal views. This helps the other person to respect your ideas as well as to accept you.
Do not wait for the problems to aggravate and then to be assertive
Few people tend to tolerate till they reach their threshold after which they reach a stage where they inappropriately vent out their feelings and emotions that result in embarrassment and misunderstanding. Therefore, always take a lead to speak and clarify any issues with anyone before it gets worsen. This in fact helps you to maintain good relationship with others.
Be as positive as you can when you express your point to the other
A very crucial aspect of being assertive is the ability to know how to present yourself to others when you want to make a point. Make sure that you mix agreement with disagreement i.e., never start to express by directly going to the point you want to make, instead first appreciate the person for his/her good works and then with the right tone and body language express your concern. After which again thank the person for his/her willingness to listen to you. This will make the other person very comfortable and he/she won’t get offended by your thoughts.
You don’t have to tolerate everything, Speak up!
Most of the Indian parents teach their children especially girls to be very submissive and passive which sometimes result in having a mental block to speak for their rights even when they become an adult. Of course, it is required to tolerate certain things, but we should also know what extend it can be tolerated. If something is bothering and interrupting your daily happiness, then it is high time to speak about it to the concerned person. The more you stack all the hurt in your heart the more you feel heavy which in turn disturbs your relationship with others.
If you respect and care for yourself learn to say ‘NO’ towards things which you are not having an inner peace. You are the best one who knows what is good for you so be bold to stand up for your rights.